At church on Sunday morning the pastor told a story that ended with God reminding him, "I don't give stones in place of bread." Wow. I had forgotten. I had started to feel like I'd been begging God for bread for over three years and He has been giving me stones. The most recent "stone" has been the delay in requesting Simeon's court date. Now I know that God is good and that all things work for good (Romans 8:28), but after getting a "no" answer to your prayers (or what looks like a "no") for so long, it starts to feel like God isn't listening. But then came Sunday's reminder - "God doesn't give stones." Thankfully, I have friends who have been praying for me, that I would be content in this place of waiting. And God used that little phrase to change my heart, to see the current wait as a gift of bread, not stones. Since then my prayers and my outlook have changed. I have been praying that God uses this wait - to make us more like Jesus, to make sure we have the judge He wants for us. I have been thanking Him that Simeon is being loved well while I am far away.
Which one of you, if his son asks him for bread, will give him a stone? Or if he asks for a fish, will give him a serpent? If you then, who are evil, know how to give good gifts to your children, how much more will your Father who is in heaven give good things to those who ask him!
Later in the message, the pastor told how he had been thinking about the last supper (specifically in relation to communion) and thought maybe Jesus thanked God for the bread and broke it, he was also thanking God that his body would be broken for us. I don't know if Jesus was thanking God for that, but the idea of it did admonish me to be thankful for the bread God gives me, even when it is the bread of brokenness. So even as it hurts me to be away from Simeon, I can thank God that He knows all things and is taking care of details I don't even know about.
And [Jesus] took bread, and when he had given thanks, he broke it and gave it to them, saying, "This is my body, which is given for you..."
I have SO much to be thankful for in this adoption process - my baby is in a fantastic place being cared for by wonderful people. Many adoptive parents cannot say that during their wait and actually know that the opposite is true. We have the resources to welcome another child into our home. Many, many families around the world do not have enough food to fill their children's hungry bellies. Really. Anyway, I am thankful for these things and for my praying friends, for my pastor who preached the word, for my God who does not give me stones when I ask for bread, and for Jesus whose body was broken that I might be reconciled to God.